Helen’s TOP 7 TIPS to DE-STRESS
Having regular reiki sessions helps the body to release stress, anxiety and tension and increases feelings of peace, security and well-being. In addition, these 7 actions can help you to de-stress and gain more balance and enjoyment in your life. I hope you find.this useful.
1. PRACTICE THE “MINDFUL MINUTE” 5 TIMES (or more) A DAY.
“I don’t have time to practice mindfulness” is a common refrain, but we all have a minute.
In the Mindful Minute you create a simple and time-limited meditation tailored to you that can be done anywhere. Simply work out the number of breaths you normally take in a minute (the inbreath and the out breath counts as 1 breath) and use this as a guide to observe your breath for one minute, 5 or more times a day (Or just take 10 – 15 breaths, that will be approximately a minute for most people)
When you do the mindful minute, focus your attention on the rise and fall of your chest or tummy or the air passing over your nostrils as you count your breaths up to your number.
That is your Mindful Minute. If you can do this every so often during the day, you will be creating minutes of present moment awareness. You could link your Mindful Minute to an activity, e.g. when you park the car before you go into work, every time you finish an activity, every time you go to the loo, before lunch, before you go into meeting , before a difficult conversation, on the bus going home or when you park the car in the drive at the end of the day…
Regularly doing the mindful minute will bring you into the present moment, reduce your stress response and activate the relaxation response, help you with overthinking, over reacting, being more calm… the benefits are many.
If you want to increase the relaxation response, a variation of the mindful minute is consciously making your exhalation a little longer than the inhalation. E.g., breathe in for 4 counts and breathe out for 8 counts...
2. BE IN A NATURAL ENVIRONMENT AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN
For example, the beach, the park, the hills, your garden...wherever there is trees or grass, where you can see the sky, feel the breeze on your face, put your feet in the grass… the natural environment will soothe your nervous system, lower your stress response and again increase the “relaxation response”.
Walking or exercise in a natural environment will help you feel more relaxed, more calm and able to cope better with life’s demands.
3. LIMIT YOUR TO-DO LIST and Learn to say NO.
“RELAX into the fact that you are not going to get it all done”. (I know you are saying in your head – how can I relax into the fact that I am not going to get it all done?!!) I ask you to take a deep breath in and a slow exhalation out then say this out loud. “I am going to relax into the fact that I am not going to get it all done”
Many of us consistently try to do too much at work and at home. Yes, there are incredible pressures in the work environment today – with decreased resources (staff and finances) and increased demands – but are you putting yourself, your wellbeing, your health at risk by doing too much? Unless you are working in a life and death situation, what is the worst thing that is going to happen, if you don’t get task x done, today?
Many of us habitually do too much, run on adrenaline, then can’t unwind, can’t get to sleep, wake up tired and then the cycle starts all over again… our bodies get “addicted to” the stress response…And some of us find it difficult to SAY NO.
We take on too much both at work and in our personal lives. (I am also aware of the many other things that impact on us overworking – perfectionism, control, people pleasing, fear that we will lose our jobs etc and a lot more – if this is you, I can help you overcome these behaviours in my “DESTRESS, RESET and THRIVE” program)
4. COMMIT TO MAKING YOURSELF A PRIORITY. PUT YOU IN YOUR DIARY.
Put your walk, meditation, coffee by yourself, yoga class (whatever is important to and for you) in your diary. When we put an activity/meeting/ appointment in our diary we honour that, we turn up, we don’t renege on our commitment to others. But often we renege on our commitment to our selves.
We say we going to make time for us, our self-care – whatever that means to us – but then we often put others or other activities ahead of what we want or need to do for ourselves.
As women we are often conditioned to put others before ourselves, not value ourselves, NOT ACT as if we matter. The ACT CREATES the SELF – if we want to de-stress and create sometime for ourselves, we have to COMMIT to OURSELF and ACT AS IF WE MATTER. Your new mantra “I make time for me because I am important and I am worth it”
5. DO SOMETHING FOR FUN, OR SOMETHING YOU ENJOY PREFERABLY EVERY DAY BUT AT THE LEAST EVERY WEEK…
It doesn’t have to be big, or require a lot of time or money – I like to dance- and periodically I enrol in different types of dance classes – but I have music on when I am getting dinner and when alone, I have a little dance in the kitchen – most days… I immediately feel happy and light and “in my body”.
I love to see the sunrise or the sunset or the changing colours in the sky and clouds around sunset … I will see the changing sky through the windows, and I will go outside and appreciate, enjoy, BE IN THE MOMENT, and say “thank you”. These are some of my examples, but you know your own, do the little things you enjoy or give you joy they can immediately de-stress, relax, and uplift you.
6. CHANGE YOUR THINKING
What are the habitual messages you are giving yourself about your responsibilities and your life? (Either in your head or out loud) Our thoughts and words create our reality. Words like…… “I can’t cope” “I have too much too do” “I ‘m always tired” “I am a poor sleeper” “I always wake up at 3am” … (I do think it’s important to acknowledge the difficulties we are experiencing ... but when we habitually say these less than helpful phrases to ourselves, they become beliefs or negative affirmations about ourselves and our reality)
I remember in a very busy time of my life, a few years ago, I kept saying to myself “I need a break” ... well guess what happened… I fell over and broke my wrist … I certainly had a break then😊!
Practice changing the story in your head to reflect what you do want. E.g., “I am calm” “I am coping well”” I sleep well” “I can relax” or a few of my personal favourites I have used for many years “I am capable and organised” and for stressful or anxious circumstances “whatever happens, I’ll handle it”
7. PRACTICE SELF-KINDNESS
We are usually very understanding and kind to others but do not always offer this kindness to ourselves. We can be very harsh in our inner dialogue when we have made a mistake or when things are not going well. In these situations, practice expressing kind understanding and compassion to yourself as you would to a dear friend, in a difficult situation.
Put both hands on your heart, with some gently pressure (this stimulates oxytocin- the “cuddle hormone”) Say to yourself, something like this… “It’s understandable (or natural) that I’m feeling this way. This is normal (to be expected, not surprising) for the situation… May I give myself the compassion that I need, may I learn to accept myself as I am” Find the words that are comfortable and comforting for you. It might feel strange at first- but the more you practice the more natural and comforting it is.
© Helen Elizabeth Alm 2023